Our eyes met from across the crowded room.  Had I known what our future held, I wonder if the moment would have held the same excitement.

We were sitting with a group of new hires and going around the room introducing ourselves.  It seemed serendipitous when he introduced himself.  We were going to be working together.

As we made our way to our department, the sexual tension in the air was thick.  “Hi, my name is Liv.”

“Hey, my girlfriend’s name is Olivia!  I’m Jeremy by the way.”

Girlfriend.  He has a girlfriend.  My heart dropped.

Jeremy and I immediately became inseparable despite the technicality of him having a girlfriend.  While working a minimum of sixty hours a week, we bonded over the misery of our job.  We flirted mercilessly but were careful to never cross that fine line.  We never verbally confirmed any possible feelings between us.  But I knew.  I knew by the way he looked at me.  I knew by the way he could pull me away from a group of people with a small nod of his head.  He was mine, and I was his.

Around two months into our employment, we had an offsite training our manager couldn’t prevent us from attending together.  (Our manager didn’t appreciate our comradery and tried to keep us apart at all costs.)  The training ended early, so we took advantage of the extra time and went back to my apartment.  Jeremy had a few drinks, and as he started to relax, all of his dirty secrets started to come out.

He confessed everything.  He confessed how he couldn’t stop thinking about me.  He confessed how torturous it was to be around me and not being able to do anything about the way he felt.  He confessed how he accidentally called his girlfriend Liv instead of Olivia.  She interpreted it as a term of endearment.  It was a childhood nickname only used by her family.  She had no idea he was calling her by another woman’s name.

Around this time I received a text message from my religious leader letting me know he was thinking of me.  I couldn’t help but see the irony in the timing.  Thank you, God. I received Your message loud and clear.  Tread lightly, Liv.  You’re on very thing ice.  For the rest of the day, I heeded that warning.  But I can’t say the same for a few weeks later when Jeremy sent me a message to meet him in a nearby elementary school parking lot.

He was my ultimate vice, and I couldn’t / didn’t want to resist any longer.

posted by Olivia Singleton
Filed under: Dating, Work